There’s a man in my life who I’ve known for a while. We bump into each other every now and then and the attraction from years before is still there.
But I’m married to someone else.
I’m happily married and have been for almost nine years. I love my husband and have no intention of ever being with anyone else, ever. But from time to time I’m still attracted to other men. I don’t flirt (well, I try not to) but I do realise that familiar feeling. I often wonder if there’s a way to switch off potential attraction to other people, or is it normal?
I was surprised the first time I was attracted to someone after I’d been married. I was surprised, horrified and guilty. He was my new personal trainer at my gym. He was hot but he was also smart. He knew things I didn’t know. Knowledge and ambition have always been triggers for crushes for me. But how could I think about another man in that way when I was so in love with my husband? Did it mean I didn’t love my husband as much as I thought it did? Were we doomed?
I revealed my dilemma to a friend who’d been married for several years. She thought it was funny that I was so disgusted with myself. She said it was totally normal and she often felt attraction to others.
She added, “Just because you’re married, doesn’t mean you won’t be attracted to other people. You love your husband. The difference is you don’t act on it because you’re married and you don’t act on it because you love your husband. Just forget about it and move on.”
I’ve been thinking about this ever since and she is totally right. I think the trap people fall into is they think their attraction to another means they aren’t in the right relationship, as though their attraction to another must mean they aren’t with their soul mate or something. This is a romantic, idealistic and damaging way to view love and relationships. How can any marriage survive such a high bar as this?
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Hello ol
I m married to a man in its being almost 15 yrs with 2 kids
My hubby s well to do n loves me alot
Yet I often get attracted to other guys irrespective of der status or noticing other factors
My hubby n family caught me couple of times meeting n talk to the guy
He tried hard to mke me undrstand n even threatened me saying that he vl file divorce
Yet m not giving much importantancestors n still continuing.
M in urgnt need of hlp.
Is des some kinda phobia or somthng else
I was in a similar situation about 3 months ago, though,not with a coworker. We had begun our home construction, and i was the one who had to communicate with our contractor, who by the way, is good-looking and very talkative and persuasive. i started fantasizing like a little girl, dreaming about him kissing me. It wasn't until i found out that my husband had been messaging and seeing some other chick, that i acted on my impulses.This was nothing good. We fought and continue to disrespect each other based on what we both did. Yet, after everything. i feel my marriage is more important and my husband does too. We both forgave each other and have been in counseling and going to church. My advice, is stay away from coworkers or people who can compromise your relationship. Marriage is way more important.