These products fails are hilarious, mostly because they're not happening to you.

Warning: post contains high levels of schadenfreude; pleasure derived from another person’s misfortune.

You know the feeling you get when you eagerly buy a snack, only to open up the packet and discover what’s inside looks nothing like it does in the picture and it’s about a third of the size?

It’s the same one that creeps in when you meet your celebrity crush in real life and realise that they’re both a foot shorter than you are and also a humongous jerk.

It’s the feeling of making a meal in your brand new slow cooker, only to have the lid implode into your stew, as happened to this poor sod:

Of having your vaccuum cleaner/washing machine/hover board/drill/[new electrical product] spontaneously burst into flame.

Consumer advocacy group Choice have been asking disgruntled owners of faulty products to send in pictures of their most epic fails and boy, there are some doozies.

Take, for example, these skin coloured leggings:

Wearing leggings as pants is ambitious at the best of times, humiliating at the worst.

Or what about this phone, which claims to float on water? Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.

How about this pile of ash that was once some woman’s washing machine? The black stuff inside is her colour load.

Just, bugger:

This what happens when your fridge tries to brew an ice cream/meat juice special:

This is what happens when your fridge tries to cut you:

This “pancake” was meant to be churros, apparently:

Here is an 18-month-old being deterred by a “child-proof” lock:

Here is a mosquito being deterred by an insect repelling fan:

Is your blood boiling? Perhaps you ought to cool off with a nice refreshing piece of seedless watermelon:

Or a dip under your brand new Snake Sprinkler?

Whatever you do, for the love of god, don’t try to do the washing.

These are just a few of the hilarious make-you-want-to-pull-your-hair-out entries, you can check out the rest here.

Feature image: Sue Crothers (whose vacuum was just out of warranty). Sorry, Sue.