This. This is what having a baby is REALLY like.

Toddlers and little kids are so much fun.

They are messy and grotty and a little bit silly – but fun nonetheless.

Some days you’ll love them like crazy and other days you’ll count down the seconds until bedtime.

And sometimes they’ll give you a heart attack, like the time I lost my son and had to call 000. (Thank god he was just hiding and it was all okay. I just felt a bit embarrassed that I had made such a big deal of it).

As parents to a small toddler there are some things you just know to be true. Things like:

1. They still won’t sleep.

Sure, maybe they started sleeping but then teething happened, or hot weather happened, or a cold happened. Sleep cycle: RUINED. It could even be that you moved them from the bassinet to the cot. Whatever the reason, kids at this age will leave you wondering whether someone swapped your sleeping baby with a terror.

2. Teething sucks.

Dear Teeth, you are nasty and horrible, but sadly a necessary part of babyhood. You come at inconvenient times and you make everyone miserable. From every parent ever. Where are the rusks? 

3. Shopping takes a whole day.

No, we do not need ten boxes of pencils or a pair of men’s underwear. And why do you always need a nappy change smack bang in the middle of aisle 5? Shopping with a toddler is torture.

Just as an FYI, you should know that this post is sponsored by Big W. But all opinions expressed by the author are 100% authentic and written in their own words.

4. Stuff gets broken.

Expensive family heirloom? Great new birthday toy? Smash, crash, bang. Broken. Gone. Kaput. If you value anything that happens to be breakable, I’d advise you put it away, for say, the next 18 years.

Related: Prepare to feel a million years old: This is what Ross and Rachel’s kid looks like now.

5. They are so naughty, but adorably cute.

It’s a built-in mechanism, I swear. It goes like this: Toddler acts indescribably naughty then does something insanely cute. You want to get them in trouble, you want to discipline them but dammit – that smile. They are just So. Damn. Cute.

6. They’ll fall asleep at inappropriate times.

School pick up. Doctor’s appointment. That one time you booked a lunch date. Your baby is bound to fall asleep two seconds before you walk out the door. It’s baby Murphy ’s Law.

Baby sleep research says it’s helpful to teach babies to self-soothe.

7. Food is fun but messy.

Day one: “OMG yay my baby is eating”.

Day ten: “OMG food is so annoying and messy I wish you just drank milk still.”

My only advice is to stock up on the wipes. Those you DO need ten packs of.

Related: We present this list of baby names without comment.

8. You’ll forget what it’s like eat a hot meal.

RIP steaming hot cup of coffee. I’ll miss you, peaceful hot dinner. Pass the lukewarm instant coffee, because I’ve got a toddler to deal with.

What are some other truths of parenting newborns?

Things. Babies need all of the things. This is a small number of those things. 

 

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