BY KATIE ‘MONTY’ DIMOND
I have never had to deal with the male anatomy on a daily basis. However five months ago that all changed when I bore my first baby boy. Obviously he was born with boy ‘bits’ and until he can attend to them himself, they are my responsibility. This leads straight to the question my boyfriend and I are currently pondering. What should we refer to his ‘bits’ as?
There are two sides of the fence with this topic, one being to refer to the body parts in their clinical term, eg Penis and Vagina. The other side being to give them a cutsie name eg: ‘Binky Wanga-Wang’ and ‘Woo Woo’. To be honest, I’m perched right on top of the pickets when it comes to naming the thing that resides in my child’s nappy. I don’t want to sound like a Biology Teacher when potty training him, but nor do I want him to think he has a Disney character living in his undies.
If anyone were to hack into my computer, my recent Google history could quite possibly have me sent straight to the slammer. My searches include ‘baby penis names’, ‘cute names for genitals’ and ‘what should you call a babies penis?’ Why didn’t Tizzy Hall tackle this important topic?
After extensive research on parenting forums, and a very interesting conversation with my mother friends, I have compiled a list of some of the more commonly used names to refer to a baby boy’s genitalia.
Winky Tinky- Isn’t this a Telly Tubby??
‘Wee Wee’- If my son happens to make friends with a lovely French girl at school this could get awkward.
‘Wing Wang’- I’m familiar with calling a Penis a ‘Wang’, but have never heard ‘Wing’ added to the front of it. This sounds like it could be a Superheroes’ name complete with a bold ‘WW’ written across his chest.
Top Comments
My wife just attended a course at our 7yr old daughters school run by http://www.protectivebehavi... . From what she told me and what I have read, using the anatomical names is very important. Two things stick in my mind that she told me she was told on this course;
1 in 4 children are going to be sexually abused in their lifetime and most likely by a family member.
Those children that do not know the correct term for their penis, vulva/vagina are 3 times more likely to be abused.
We use vagina for her (even though technically it is a vulva) and penis for mine (when she wanted to know why I was different to her). Personally I couldn't care less if other people feel embarrassed by our daughter using the correct term, she's done it a few times, I get a kick out of seeing the look of horror on some people's faces when she does.
We happily, and very organically (in that, there was no actual discussion about it, it just slipped into our parental vernacular) dubbed our son's penis his "dude." To me, it doesn't sound ridiculous, doesn't make it sound small or magical, and is unlikely to offend the ears of other parents, grandparents, or kids who haven't been introduced to the term 'penis.'
To my mind, having a baby girl presents the bigger problem. Saying the word 'vagina' to a six-month-old bundle of pink squishiness just doesn't feel comfortable.