I’m 10 years into this parenting gig and it is a constant challenge.

I’ve never experienced so much delight and distress, sometimes within seconds of each other. I try and get on top of it all, but the very nature of parenting is the fact that you never quite get on top of it. Just as soon as you think you’ve got it figured out, the benchmark changes, abruptly.

Here are 11 things you never get used to as a parent. It could have been 11 hundred, but we have to start somewhere:

1. How much food they eat.

My children are such massive eaters and their eating habits have little effect on their weight. How is this possible? I will do a really big grocery shop on a Friday and by Monday I’ll be looking at empty cupboards again. Where did all the rice crackers go? What about the packets of popcorn? I just bought 10 tins of tuna… so where is the tuna for my salad? I’ve taken to hiding a few packets of snack foods just so I have something up my sleeve, but being the scavengers that they are, they often find my hiding spots in the kitchen, so I have moved my food hiding spot to my bedroom (and so far it’s working).

Just as an FYI, you should know that this post is sponsored by The Athlete’s Foot. But all opinions expressed by the author are 100% authentic and written in their own words.

2. How fast their feet grow.

Seriously – I can never get over this. I buy my kids a new pair of shoes, and then (what feels like) five minutes later they are waaay too small, as if by magic. I get whiplash keeping up with their feet growth. Keeping three children in shoes that fit could be a full-time job in itself. I feel like I spend half my life in shoe shops.

3. How quickly they can go from happy to sad, and vice versa.

Talk about moody. All of my kids are moody, some more than others, but it never fails to amaze me how quickly their moods shift. A perfectly happy child can become a total basket case because I have cut their toasted cheese sandwich into little triangles instead of big triangles. “But you always like little triangles,” I plead. “Not anymore,” they wail, as though I have murdered the family pet and served them that.

4. Lack of sleep.

Here’s something parents of younger children may not realise. You will NEVER sleep normally again. Sure, you’ll get more sleep sometimes, as they get older, but sleep will always be something that ebbs and fades in your life. Get used to it. My oldest child is my worst sleeper. He was great from around the age of 18 months until four but then he suddenly decided that everything in his life was a horror movie waiting to happen. He’s now 10.

5. How attached they get to just one pair of shoes.

We’re not rolling in money but my children have at least four pairs of shoes each, if you don’t count the novelty varieties, but for some reason they all wear the same pair every single day. My oldest boy lives in thongs, my six-year-old loves his orange sneakers and my little girl wears her flower sandals only. Their choice of footwear is not weather or temperature dependent either. They will wear them come rain, hail or shine.

6. Gastro and other child illnesses.

I will never get used to dealing with gastro. What begins as a tummy ache quickly becomes an eruption that you have seconds to stop from hitting the floor. But as I have explained to my children time and time again – if the choice is between the bed and the floor, go for the floor.

7. Their ability to make incredible messes.

Most mornings when we leave the house for the day it looks as though thieves have ransacked our home, opening every wardrobe door and every drawer looking for jewellery. In actual fact, it is just us tearing them all open in our mad rush to make it out the door at 8am. We can’t be a minute later or the entire day goes down the drain. So the first thing I have to do when I arrive home each day is put the house back together.

8. How good they are at negotiating.

When it comes to parenting everything is a constant negotiation, from waking up to what they’ll eat for breakfast, in which bowl, to brushing their teeth, getting dressed, what they’ll wear that day…everything. I find myself saying, “Just do it” and “Because I said so” more and more and I always swore I’d never use expressions like that. But kids just don’t give up.

9. How much they love some toys, and then suddenly stop.

Two of my three children are OBSESSED with Rubik’s Cubes at the moment and carry them around with them wherever we go. They want all the different Rubik’s Cubes on the market and I’m so delighted they are off their iPods that I’m indulging them. But I know that one day they’ll…just…stop. For no reason at all, they’ll completely abandon them. Their tastes change like the wind and I just can’t keep up.

10. Being responsible for raising one or more human beings. The responsibility!

I still pinch myself at the fact that I am raising three human beings. I am responsible for their physical and emotional wellbeing. Who thought I was qualified to do this? I worry that I am ruining them but then I remind myself that it’s not my job to be a perfect parent and in the real world, people do get tired and annoyed – even mums.

11. Being busy.

I can’t remember the last time I actually sat and relaxed for a substantial period of time. There’s always something to do. Even as I watch my favourite TV shows I’ll be cleaning or folding laundry or doing an online grocery shop. Everything is busy, busy, busy. Even at night, my mind is still busy. I totally understand why some couples raise their kids and then hop on a cruise ship, and then another and another. That’s exactly what I plan to do. Bon Voyage kids!

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