By NINA LUCAS and JAN NICHOLSON
The media often blame a lot of society’s problems on the break down of traditional family structures and the increase in single parent homes.
When fathers no longer live at home, policy makers focus on child support and residential arrangements as the best ways to help children and parents cope after separation. Courts allocate time with children to each parent, and governments legislate child support payments based on time allocations.
Quality not quantity
Research increasingly suggests that the quality of non-resident fathers’ relationships with their children is as important as the time they spend together.
A 1999 review found that children had fewer behavioural and emotional problems when they had a close relationship with a non-resident father, or when their father had a warm affectionate parenting style balanced by consistent expectations and limit setting.
Our new research extends these findings.
We examined the wellbeing of 302 8 to 9 year old children with a non-resident father, using data from the Longitudinal Study of Australian Children.
We defined wellbeing as the absence of behavioural and emotional difficulties, and measured it using the results from a standard questionnaire used to pinpoint problems in this area.
We considered a wide range of factors as potential drivers of child wellbeing, including socioeconomic circumstances, mothers’ and fathers’ parenting practices, mothers’ and fathers’ mental health, and parental conflict.
Top Comments
The on thing that i hate about single parents is the stigma on the single dad and the stigma on the step mum.
The bio mum - perception- isnt she amazing she does all these things by herself, she always dressed nicely, how does she manage to juggle the children, she s a super hero and amazing and "of course she knows exactly what is best for her child all the time and is without a selfish thought". To be honest yep i do actually agree with most of this there is alot of mums doing it tough. My mum was one of them at one stage. However putting confusing thoughts into your childs head regarding who their dad is and painting the dad as the bad guy is not acting without a selfish thought.Also pretending that the Bio dad s opinion doesnt matter and that you and your new partner can make all the decisions regarding your child also is not acting in a non selfish way.
Step dad-
perception-Isnt he amazing he has taken on that other guys children, he s so hands on, he could do no wrong butter wouldnt melt in his mouth.
Reality - He thinks that he has the right to take over and be called dad however the real dad is still in the picture and very much involved what gives him the right to take that name from the bio dad, he s only so great with the kids because lets face it mums/female role model are the disciplinary parent 9/10 they are the tough ones and the male role model can be the fun ones, in reality the child is extremely miss behaved in his care but that of course must be because the Bio dad has done something wrong.
Step mum-
perception- we ve all read the fairy tales and seen in movies what we think is an accurate perception.
reality- someone who has taken on someone elses child and promised to love them unconditionally, does not take on the name mum even though generally they are the ones wiping their tears tucking them in and helping with the every day mum duties, constantly check in with the bio mum with regards to what the bio mum feels is appropriate and makes sure a good line of communication is left open even though it pains her soemtimes that the BIo mum is so involved in what happens in her household she gives up christmas so the chld can be with his other siblings even though the child also has other bio siblings at her house but she makes do of the situation she has been given as she knew this when she came into that relationship. She does all the same as the bio mum without the glory however she finds it in the little things like the smile on the childs face when he gets to start his first day of school with his mum and his other mum there.
Bio dad-
perception-worthless CSA avoiding jerk
reality- he s actually just a dad who has his child as much as he can makes sure he pays his child support on time might not like the bio mum or the step dad making the decisons on his behalf but he chooses his battles, deep down he s devastated that someone else is being called dad but doesnt make a fuss as that wouldnt be in the best interest of the child. keeps his feelings in check as if he upsets the bio mum to much then she might restrict his access even further because lets face it most of the time its only weekend visits as he is at work and if he didnt work then she wouldnt recieve CSA payments and then his child would miss out.
Sure there are some drop beat dads out there but i hate this stereo typical perception that the bio mum and step dad are whats best for the child and the bio dad and step mum are evil and trying to corrupt the child and un do anything the bio mum does. In reality we are all equals and raising a child together no matter how much you dislike the other person the child is the focus and i think they are lucky to have a mum a step dad a dad and a step mum that all love them without hesitation
I am sure any mother would be happy to be told that it is quality not quantity that matters to her.