parents

"There's a sequel to Go The F**k To Sleep. And I need it."

By HOLLY WAINWRIGHT

In news that will make snarky parents everywhere smile a secret smile, there’s a sequel to possibly the most famous non-children’s children’s book of all time, “Go The F-k To Sleep.”

You know the one. The one that all the celebrities read out in honey-tinged voices.

The one that made its author, the professionally hilarious Adam Mansbach, famous and wealthy. 

You know, THIS one.

 

Well now he’s done it again. And this time, instead of targetting sleep-deprived parents (that’s, um, all of them), Mansbach is going for the fussy eater crowd. Because there are a lot of those, too:

 

We don’t know what’s in this book yet, beyond this one preview pic:

But as the mother of one VERY fussy 2 year-old, I have a few suggestions. And I know this is not in cutesy rhyming couplets, but when you’ve spent TWO YEARS trying to get a very tiny, very strong-minded little person to eat one measly little spear of broccoli (no, not the same one), you haven’t got the patience for that level of creative endeavour.

So, in honour of my beloved boy, here’s my version, ‘Just eat the f-ing food.’

Yes, I know the day ends in a ‘Y’ , but just eat the f-ing food.

Yes, I know that vegetable appears to be green, but just eat the f-ing food.

Yes, I know that’s not your red dinosaur plate, it’s your blue dinosaur plate, but c’mon, just eat the f-ing food.

Yes, I know that the biscuit’s not perfectly square, but just eat the f-ing food.

Yes, it’s fruit. Just eat the f-ing food.

Yes, I know it’s what you had last night, and the night before, and the night before. Just eat the f-ing food.

Don’t worry Adam, I think your job’s safe.

Did you love Go The F- To Sleep?