The top 5 lies women tell during pregnancy.

By SARAH MEGGINSON

They say that when you’re pregnant, hormones can make you a little loopy. I actually didn’t believe this was a real “thing” until I began experiencing it myself.

Like just last week, I sobbed for 15 minutes when I couldn’t find my car keys. In my defence, they’ve been missing for three weeks and it’s going to cost $180 to replace our start-up Toyota key. So I was crying over wasted money, not just keys. That’s kind of legit, right?

Anyway, according to a couple of articles doing the rounds, we expecting mums aren’t just hormonal – we’re also a bunch of liars.

Some of the more frequent fibs that pregnant women apparently spin involve weight gain, smoking and sex (as in, the sex of their baby). Like when women say, “I don’t care whether it’s a girl or a boy, as long as it’s healthy!” When really, they’re desperately hoping for one gender or the other.

As I stare down the barrel of my final few weeks of pregnancy, it got me thinking about the untruths I may have told throughout the last eight months. At first I scoffed; I haven’t told any lies! Have I? A little self-reflection later, I released there’ve been a few…

Lie #1: That I was pregnant at all.

Loads of expecting mums hold off on sharing the good newsuntil they reach the magic 3-month mark, so I reckon this one is pretty common. I told my family and a few close girlfriends early on, but I waited until our 12-week ultrasound before sharing the news with everyone else.

In the meantime, a couple of girlfriends came over for morning tea, and one friend piped up, “So I thought maybe you organised this catch-up because you had baby news to share?”…

I had just peed on a stick the day before. I hadn’t even visited the doctor to confirm I was pregnant – or told my mum – or worked out how far along I was. So, I lied. “No, that’s just pasta bloat,” I joked. “But hopefully soon!”

Lie #2: How much weight I’ve gained

Weight is something women just don’t openly talk about, unless we’ve recently lost a bunch of it. I’m not interested in sharing my weight with anyone other than my husband, my mum and my obstetrician… But when I do discuss it, I’ve released I tend to round down.

Because when I weigh myself, I see only the first two digits. Nothing after the decimal point exists. Ergo, a weight gain of 7.1kg equals 7kg… and a weight gain of 7.9kg also equals 7kg. Simple maths, really.

Lie #3: Whether or not we’ve decided on names

We have. Ages ago. But I don’t want to share them. I don’t want any name-taint (“Didn’t Marilyn Manson call his son that?”) and I’ll probably be crushed if your reaction is anything other than over-the-top hysterical enthusiasm at our outstanding name choices. I might even cry; I’ve cried over less during this pregnancy (see key incident). So it’s best that we avoid the potential for awkwardness and I just politely lie and say we’re undecided on names, yeah?

Lie #4: “I love being pregnant!”

Ask me how I’m finding pregnancy, and I’ll instantly reply, “Wonderful! I’m loving it!” And it’s true; I’m one of those women who really does enjoy being pregnant. Feeling my little monster kick my ribs and push on my bladder can be uncomfortable, but it’s also a lovely reminder that a new little person will soon be joining our family.

At the same time, I must have the memory of a goldfish, because I have definitely not loved every moment of this pregnancy. And I seem to forget that. Week 5 to 16 was non-stop vomiting, up to six times a day. My second trimester was characterised by constant leg and foot cramps, reflux and migraines. And in my third trimester, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and therefore cruelly cut off from sugar. But when friends and relatives ask how I’m coping? “Great!” I lie. “Couldn’t be better!”

Lie #5. That we were tempted to find out the baby’s gender

When people ask if I’m having a boy or a girl, and I say we decided not to find out, occasionally the other person stares at me like I just gave away a massive plot spoiler for True Blood or Game of Thrones. They look confused and sometimes a little offended, so I rush to fill in the awkward silence – with blatant lies.

“We talked about it, and I can definitely see the benefits of finding out the gender – so much easier to decorate the nursery, right? So we were tempted to find out at the 20 week scan, but decided we’ll just wait for the surprise…”

In truth? We were never tempted. I understand the appeal, but I’m happy to wait. When my first baby was plopped onto my chest, and I peeked down to see what “it” was, it was the most amazing and surreal moment of my life. A daughter, I realised. I’ve got a daughter! I can’t wait to relive that incredible moment again in a few weeks time. I’ll be completely over the moon, whether it’s a boy or a girl… and that’s no lie.

What have you fibbed about during your pregnancy?

A freelance writer, editor, wife, author and mum, Sarah Megginson contributes to a range of national magazines and has also worked on more than a dozen books as a ghost-writer and editor. She recently released her first book, ’How to make money money by working from home’, to help others create a profitable and flexible career and lifestyle. Visitwww.sarahmegginson.com or www.workfromhomestepbystep.com.au.

If you’re anything like 94% of survey respondents said that they would give up part of their salary if it meant they could work from home, work more flexible hours or even work less hours then check out the book here.