How your wish-list changes after becoming a mum.

By BERN MORLEY

It’s a universally acknowledged truth that your life changes when you have a child.

In both the big and small ways, your priorities change and a lot of the things that were once important to you, simply no longer are. Your wants and your needs — or your “wish list” if you like — change dramatically once you become a mother.

Not only that, your desire to leave a financial legacy, to leave behind a financially secure future for your children and your family becomes something you become crystal clear about. All parents want to give their children a great start in life, perhaps one that we ourselves were never given. Whether it be through our own careful superannuation choice or specific financial planning, these things suddenly become more important to us than we ever could have ever imagined.

Just as an FYI, this post is sponsored by HOSTPLUS Super. But all opinions expressed by the author are 100% authentic and written in their own words.

We polled our Facebook readers and asked them what they were surprised to find had changed on their own ‘life wish list’ after they had children.

Here are our top six responses:

1. A people mover.

A car that screams practical isn’t exactly what any twenty something thinks they will one day covet. In fact, the term, “7-seater” isn’t exactly on top of anyone’s list before his or her children come along.  A lot of parents were still fairly confident they’d be getting around in their hatchback, even after they had kids. Fast-forward to 10 years later, 3 kids, multiple car seats and a double pram, and a minivan suddenly becomes very appealing to a lot of people.

2. Comfortable shoes.

Who knew that one day we’d be bypassing the cute stiletto and opting for the comfortable court shoe? Once upon a time it was all about the fabulous wedged peep toe and now, as a parent, high on top of many a wish list is just a shoe you don’t feel your feet literally dying inside of. Pre-kids women in particular, suffered a LOT for fashion but once those kidlets come along, most Mums find they are more interested in comfortable flats with good cushioning.

Part of every woman will still occasionally feel a bit sad about this and find themselves running their finger across a particularly pretty pair but honestly, the main priority now that you’ve become a Mum is comfort.

3. Healthy children.

Most parents will take for granted, the health of their children. Others, unfortunately, will not have that luxury. Clearly no one even contemplates that their lives could revolve around specialist appointments (which are expensive) and pathology results but for some, unfortunately, this becomes a daily reality.  So top of their “life wish list”, would be that their children could be healthy.

4. Some time alone.

That sacred “alone time.” As couples without children we were all so blessed with the almighty “time alone,” we didn’t even realise we had it until it was gone. The thing is, sitting and reading a book uninterrupted, to a parent, is like winning their own personal lottery. No one realised, pre-children that one of things we’d actually wish for, would be to have some time to sit by ourselves.

5. Practical meals.

Before children, a lot of us were wannabe Masterchefs, spending HOURS perfecting dishes not just from a taste perspective, but also from an aesthetic point of view. NOW, well now if we can manage to include some different coloured vegetables and keep most of it in the bowl and not on the floor, we consider the meal a success. Meals are no longer about presentation and palate; they are about efficiency, nutrition and cost. Suddenly a calm, no fuss or frills mealtime is top of our wish list.

6. Top education.

We all want our children to succeed in life but most parents, before they become one, don’t realise that there are many factors that determine this outcome. This is not about private vs public education but more about being able to offer the choice and take opportunities that suit your child’s particular talents. With forward financial and responsible planning, this can be the difference needed in many a child’s life.

Obviously the difference in lifestyles before and after becoming a parent, are vast and various and no one expects to want or need the same things. We all just want the very best for our children, both emotionally and financially and we should always be planning responsibly for their future. It is though, so very interesting to see how our priorities shift and change the moment we no longer only have ourselves to think about or take care of.

This comes, as a woman, as a mother, from knowledge and careful planning and mostly, from being aware of our options. Our superannuation choices can fundamentally change the course of not only our lives, but also our children’s.

And some other things that change when you become a mum…

What is on your ‘life wish list’ now that you would not have expected to find on there prior to having children?

9 in 10 women* won’t have enough super to retire comfortably. Time out of the workforce to raise a family, working part time and earning an average of 17%^ less than men can all play a part. The good news is HOSTPLUS can help you improve your situation and take control now.

Find out more at hostplus.com.au/control, or stay up to date and follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Instagram.

* The Association of Super Funds Australia (AXFA) 2014. ^ Australian Bureau of Statistics. November 2013.