To say that my life is busy would be an understatement.
Between getting the kids dressed and fed in the morning, dropping them at my parents, getting to work, dealing with endless projects and meetings there, whizzing back to pick up my kids and getting them to their afternoon activities before heading home to cook, clean and maybe squeeze in some exercise before collapsing in to bed means I have no time to even think about being busy.
I have no time to think at all. Mums – working and stay at home – will understand what I’m saying.
But I know that I’m actually very lucky. I have one saving grace that keep the wheels from falling off my hectic life.
I have my parents.
They look after my kids every day that I am at work (saving me a fortune in childcare fees). They recently retired, sold my childhood home in the country, downsized and moved to the city – closer to me.
And while many people might run away scared at the thought of their parents moving in just around the corner – I am ecstatic. I am so happy for my parents (and for myself) because everyone is a winner in the move.
Women look like their paternal grandmother. These photos prove it.
I win because I now have my parents at hand who are able to take my children each day – and I get to leave my precious kids in the care of family. My parents win because they get to spend quality time with their beloved grandkids.
They are loving retirement – I have never once heard them say, ‘I’m bored of this life’. They adore their grandchildren and enjoy spending so much time with them – they’ve told me it’s a relationship like none they’ve ever experienced. It’s different to parenting and it’s something they’ve been waiting to enjoy for a long time.
Top Comments
My parents do not help at all with their grandchildren and I resent it a lot. I remember how much help they had with their children from both sets of grandparents. My mothers parents used to pay for myself and my siblings to fly across Australia and stay with them for the entire summer holidays. The last time I asked my parents to babysit was about 8 years ago. I asked my mother to watch my toddler son while I had a shower. I saw him out the bathroom window running down the side of the house and onto the road. Meanwhile my mother was in the house looking for her dressing gown because she didn't want to be seen in the front yard in her nightie. Of course they're always on the phone or turning up at my house wanting my help with one problem or another.
My sister is about to pop with the first grandchild and was chatting to our mu about her anticipated childcare arrangements for when she goes back to work (she's guessing that she'll go back when the baby is about 10 months).
Her MIL doesn't work, so the idea is that she'll have the baby 2 days per week...our mother does work full time but has split days off...so my sister asked if she'd take the baby on her weekday RDO so that she only has to pay for childcare 2 days a week!
I understand that childcare is expensive, and her MIL is more than happy to help because she has a lot of time on her hands, but I think it's too much to expect our mother to do the same on a weekly basis. Mum feels like she's obligated but it just doesn't seem fair in my opinion.
Someone has to tell her. Maybe that falls to you, Keyla. My brother and his wife had the same sense of entitlement. My wife and I paid my retired mother and part-time employed sister about 60% of the common rate to mind our two at various times three days per week 1986-1994 ... as we refused to pay less.
My brother and his wife were embarrassed when they eventually found out (from the other sister, not the one doing some of the childcare) that mum and sister were paid by us for their sacrificed time.
We were happy to get 75% of our childcare at a reduced rate from people we loved and trusted and who truly had our kids' welfare, values and social skills at heart. Mum and the sister were always pleased that they could help and get some housekeeping money as well.
My wife and I believed that our precious offspring were getting the best of family-based care and occasional commercial child-care and pre-school.
Suggesting to you, Keyla, that someone has the reality conversation with your sister and her husband. ASAP.
Agreed. An arrangement with parents only works if they're 100% willing and it's been discussed beforehand.
You could leave this article up on her laptop/phone...