Wednesday's news in under 2 minutes.

1. Autopsy results for Chris Lane, the 22-year-old Australian baseball player who was killed in the US last week, have been released. The autopsy results say that Lane was killed by a “penetrating gunshot wound to the back” which resulted in the collapse of both of his lungs, plus two fractured ribs and a ripped aorta and pulmonary artery. Two teenagers have been charged with his murder and one has been charged as an accessory.

2. Last night, AFL team the Essendon Bombers were banned from playing finals and also fined $2 million over their controversial supplements program.

Their coach, James Hird, has also been suspended for 12 months. If you’re confused about this whole Essendon saga – never fear. We have a cheatsheet (hehe, no pun intended) that you can read here if you’re feeling a bit confused by the whole business.

3. The Greens have announced new policy yesterday that will see them pressure the next federal government to provide a $2.3 million funding boost to support greater child care affordability and availability for 800,000 families. This would mean an average subsidy of $1404 per year, per family.

Greens childcare spokeswoman Sarah Hanson-Young said, “The crisis in childcare means fees are skyrocketing and availability is dropping, especially in high-need areas. If Australian children are going to be cared for in centres with sufficient numbers of qualified staff, the government must commit to increasing support to the sector. Without increased funding to childcare, families won’t be able to have the high-quality, affordable, flexible care that they need.”

4. A six-year-old boy in China has been blinded for life after his eyes were gouged out in a horrific attack. The boy went missing when playing outside and was found three to four hours later, covered in blood. The child’s eyes were located nearby; it is believed that an organ trafficker was behind the attack.

5. Australia has ranked first place in the World Giving Index for 2012, ahead of New Zealand and the United States. Donations from Australia have risen 11 per cent since 2010. Well done to all of you generous folk.

6. British forces are preparing for a possible strike against Syria, in light of mounting evidence that the country attacked its own citizens with chemical gas.

The United States has hinted that they are prepared to take action against the Assad regime and Prime Minister Kevin Rudd says it is “patently clear” that chemical weapons have been used.

A spokesperson for British Prime Minister David Cameron said, “We are continuing to discuss with our international partners what the right response should be, but, as part of this, we are making contingency plans for the armed forces.”

7. University students in Liberia have had a seriously bad day; the 25,000 candidates who sat the University of Liberia’s entrance exam all failed. Every one of them. Not a single student managed to score above 50 per cent. The students suspect foul play and blame numerous dogs for eating their homework.

8. Speaking of dogs, the world’s cleverest dog has been discovered! Chaser, a Border Collie, apparently has the intelligence of a two-and-a-half-year-old child; Chaser can recognise objects and carry out tasks such as “nosing”, “pawing” and “taking” things. Chaser is owned by a former professor of psychology. Figures…