Claudia Connell was single, in her early 40s and, like many women in similar situations, worried about the tick, tick, tick of her biological clock and the time she had left to become a mother.
Connell didn’t want to be the woman who regretted not having a child when it was too late to do anything about it. She didn’t have time to meet a man, fall in love and decided to have a baby. And so she had to act on her own.
Enlisting the help of clinics in the Greek city of Athens, Connell underwent three rounds of IVF. Her chances of getting pregnant using her own eggs weren’t great – only around 2.9 per cent – so she opted to use the eggs and sperm of various donors from around the world.
Connell recently wrote about her struggles in an article for the UK’s Guardian called ‘I wasted £30,000 trying to have a baby I didn’t want’.
Understandably, the article is now being shared on the internet like a viral video of a cat playing the piano. In other words: a LOT.
Here’s a taste of what Claudia Connell had to say:
As many women do when they approach their late 30s, I began to ponder the baby issue. I’d just read Baby Hunger by Sylvia Ann Hewlett, in which she made a strong case for the fact that today’s “have it all” woman was facing the prospect of a very lonely and unfulfilled middle age. She hammered home the point with some alarming statistics: nearly half of high-achieving women were childless in America at the age of 40, most of them bitterly regretting leaving it so late.
Generally speaking, a woman’s fertility starts to declines after the age of 32. By 37, the fertility decline accelerates. By the age of 40, it’s fallen by half. That’s a sad fact, but it is reality.
Top Comments
Some of us don't get to have children because of various factors in our growing up. It's just how it turns out. I can be thankful that I didn't mess up a child's life by being an immature, isolated and money poor parent, as that is the young person I was. I had no family support for growing into an adulthood that included being a mother. Yes, it's sad but messing up a child's life may due to my own inadequacies may have been sadder to live with.
I don't understand the fuss. She thought she wanted/should have a baby. Went through fertility treatment AT HER OWN COST to achieve 2 what she thought she wanted. And along the way realised she was doing it because of society expectations not for herself. She did fall pregnant yes bud sadly she miscarriaged - hardly her fault she didn't cause it. Plenty of women/girls fall pregnant when they don't want to, only to miscarriage naturally. Do we treat them with same condemnation?
Apart from those who don't understand how someone may not want children (gasp!), what is actually wrong with a story of a women discovering what she really wanted before it was too late? You can't change the way someone feels. For her, yes it was an expensive way to find out what her heart actually wanted vs. what society expected of her. But she didn't spend government money to do this, and didn't abort any babies in the process. Her decisions affected no one but herself. I applaud her for being honest.
And I am speaking as an IVF 'veteran' who would do anything to fall pregnant and become a mother. But I'm tolerant enough to understand that not everyone wants the things I so desperately want. But you know what? That is ok