Everyone says this photo is deeply insensitive. But we're not so sure.

If you saw a major car accident tomorrow, what would you do? Would you pull over and step out of your car? Would you check that everyone was alright? Would you clear the road for emergency services?

Or would you pull out your selfie stick to capture moment?

After all, this event will be on the evening news, it’s the biggest thing that’s happened to you all week… and how will you tell people about the gravity of what happened without iPhone proof.

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To be honest, that’s an attitude that makes most of us a little squeamish, but it seems it’s also how more and more people are choosing to process trauma, grief or major shocking events in their life.

Exhibit A: The newspaper front page which is dividing the world today.

Yesterday’s New York Post splash story shows a group of friends smiling for a carefully composed selfie, as a Manhattan building burns to the ground behind them.

Take away the burning building and the group of friends could be almost anywhere. A Taylor Swift concert. A birthday party. The Eiffel Tower.  It is an almost joyous, revelling decision to capture an uncommonly newsworthy moment in their lives.

Nothing about the photo says ‘there are people dying behind us.’

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But that’s exactly what was happening at the time. The scene that is unfolding in the distance of the photograph was a tragedy. Two people died and at least 25 people were injured; some critically. Hundreds of firefighters and police officers risked their lives to save the occupants trapped inside the Manhattan apartment block which formed the backdrop for these tragedy tourist’s photoshoot.

It’s an uncomfortable photo to look at, when you contrast the smiling faces in the foreground with the utter loss and devastation in the background.

But this group is not unusual. The people in the New York Post image are representative of hundreds of thousands of others who would do – and have done – the exact same thing in similar situations.

When the horrific and ultimately deadly Sydney Siege began in December last year, hundreds of people in the vicinity of the Lindt Cafe whipped out their phones to capture the moment with a selfie and upload the picture on social media. I was here. I saw this. I witnessed the drama, their pixelated photographs told the world.

More and more, people are using social media to share life experiences that would traditionally be considered private; experiences that have not previously been considered ‘photoworthy’.

#Funeralselfies is a real hashtag that is used by people commemorating the lives of their loved ones. Tourists aren’t afraid to smile at the 911 memorial site in New York City, posing for pictures in front of the names of thousands of murdered civilians. The Holocaust Museum in Germany, the gates of concentration camp Auchwitz, have apparently become legitimate photo opportunities.

And it’s easy to judge. It’s easy to label these actions as ‘inappropriate’ or to scoff at the insensitivity of someone who seemingly uses tragedy as a means to gather meaningless likes.

Before you slam the girl who took a selfie at Auschwitz, read this.

But who are we to dictate how another person processes their grief, or fear, or anxiety? For many young people in particular, taking photos on a camera phone is simply a natural way to mark a major event; happy or sad. It may be that looking back at the image or sharing it with someone they love allows them to rationalise and be at peace with something upsetting they have witnesses.

Do I – like many others – look at the selfie takers in New York and screw up my nose?  Yes.

But here’s the thing: I didn’t experience the terror. I don’t know what was said before or after the photo was taken. I don’t know if the group were celebrating the fact they got out of that situation alive. Or perhaps they didn’t even realise that the blast was unintentional, perhaps they assumes it was a building demolition.

I also don’t know how the selfie takers in New York city felt when they arrived home later that night and had a few minutes to gaze at the images in their phone galleries. Perhaps it helped them make sense of their own feelings to share the image with a mate and talk about fear, about loss, about uncertainty. Or perhaps they regretted the image, deleted it in embarrassment and resolved to be the person who goes to the aid of the victims if they ever witness such a tragedy again.

The fact is that technology, social media and yes, even the selfie, have changed the way we act in certain scenarios. And there is no rule book for how to respond to a tragedy or to process sadness or rage. As a society we don’t have the right to dictate how another person grieves, even if that grief is aided by the seemingly unusual tools of an iPhone 6 and an extendable metal photo arm.