The text messages included two images of overweight, naked women – and they were sent to a female colleague with the words “Di” and “Would you hit it?” and “Di who wants a go f….. this?”.
The ‘Di’ in question is Di Patston, the only female on the management staff of the Wallabies Rugby Union team.
And the texts came from one of the team’s stars, Kurtley Beale, 25, who sent the messages to Patston in June.
Those texts lie at the heart of a scandal currently rocking Australian Rugby.
After receiving the messages, Patston said she couldn’t stop crying and asked Beale “This is how the only female staff member is treated?,” the Daily Telegraph reveals in an exclusive report.
Beale pleaded for forgiveness following the incident, but Ms Patston eventually told officials about the messages after the rugby star verbally abused her on a flight three weeks ago.
Ms Patston took sick leave and, on Friday, resigned due to stress — after enduring intense media scrutiny about her personal life, with coach Ewen McKenzie having been forced to deny rumours of a relationship with her.
The string of text messages between Beale and Ms Patston following the incident were published in The Daily Telegraph today — and they reveal Ms Patston initially agreed to give the Rugby star a second chance despite her significant distress.
“I can’t stop crying I am so humiliated by this,” she texted him following the incident.
“Do you realise the situation you’ve put me in? I have earned this job and I am proud of being a female at this level,” she wrote. “If I complain then I make it hard for women in Rugby and it puts the reputation of the entire squad at stake.”
“I just do stupid things for no reason,” Beale texted back at one point. “I just don’t know what to do. I’m so sorry.”
Beale has been stood down pending the outcome of an investigation and will face the ARU Conduct Committee this week, The Daily Telegraph reports. Yahoo! News reports Beale’s ARU contract is expected to be terminated.
It is understood Ms Patston has not sought compensation.
Patston- 1.08pm: I am sitting here in the team room doing my job and I can’t stop crying. What did I do to you? You have barely known me a day. I can’t stop crying I am so humiliated by this. Don’t you think my job is hard enough without this? This is how the only female staff member is treated? I am so embarrassed by this I am leaving for my room I can’t stop crying thanks a lot.
Beale- 1.12pm: I was layin on my bed I didn’t send it to anyone I sent it to myself. Youve done nothing wrong youve been so good to me & your such a lovely lady. We all see how hard you work for us. I just do stupid things for no reason. I was laying here getting ready for lunch & training mucking around. I hate I have done this to you & I am so sorry di.
Patston- 1.15pm: Leave me alone please. I’ve come to my room. The team room is full of players I know you’ve sent it on to them but I’ll never know to who.
Just leave me alone this is not ok. Do you realise the situation you’ve put me in? I have earned this job and I am proud of being a female at this level. If I complain then I make it hard for women in Rugby and it puts the reputation of the entire squad at stake. Do you realise the situation I am?
Just leave me alone please. I don’t want to hear from you until my distress has settled.
Beale- 1.17pm: Ok I feel so bad.
Patston- 1.23pm: You may feel bad but if you did not accidentally send them to me how many more would there be? Are you sorry you did it or just sorry you got caught? Think about that.
Beale- 1.42pm: I just don’t know what to do. I’m so sorry.
Patston- 3.44pm: Glad we got the chance to catch up and talk it through. I wanted you to look me in the eyes and realise I am a person — a mum, wife and daughter (all those things we discussed) and how they would feel seeing what you sent me. I’ll never know who you sent them to or why; but everyone deserves a chance.
You were clearly upset and showed remorse which I am for.
I hope you can move on from this with a greater respect for treating people the right way. As I said, I won’t be telling Ewen, or the ARU as you are entitled to one mistake and be a better person for it. I hope this is your moment and you gain a greater respect for the people here doing a job for you and the rest of the team.
Let’s move on from this and start anew. No need to talk about it any further. Di.
Beale- 3.48pm: I can’t believe your not going to tell Ewen or the ARU this means so much to me & I have learned my lesson I promise you. You have been very kind to me di and I’ll never do anything like this again. Seeing you so upset hurt me I couldn’t deal with it. You have my respect & deserve better you do so much for us & work so hard. Wish I could take it back. Thankyou di.
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Top Comments
What is the issue here?
It is probably just the tip of the iceberg for Di. There is probably an undercurrent of a terrible culture she had been battling all along and then bam..sexual harassment to top it all off. Women work in a different way to men, from my experience with a heap of due diligence. This would include going the extra mile to make sure everyone is on the same page, not behave at the expense of others and I have never in my career seen a woman hide her mistakes either. Sometimes you just suck it in, sometimes you just loose it. I wish Di didn't give in to it but I can appreciate loosing it, it happens to the best of us. The aggression with the plane incident would leave one feeling entirely unsafe. Sounds like no one helped put him in his place which is typical of pack animals. Maybe if another woman was there it would not have been so bad who knows, and I suppose we will keep copping it until there are more women around.
I work in Engineering and the most unfortunate thing is meeting women in top jobs that are so jaded they say stupid things like you cant cry, that's just what it is to work in this position, suck it in sweetheart. Eff that, I expect more, I understand though without these women whom in a lot of cases are pioneers, I may not be here. But I cant abide by people saying suck it in yet I have copped what Di has and more, I refuse to give in though, I feel that it my responsibility to make a difference for the next girl or woman that comes along and am taking it back to the work place and not pretending everything is fine.
It reminds me of something Lydia Cacho said about women in the most extreme of abuse scenarios of which I paraphrase: what option does a woman have after she has been trafficked as a child into prostitution, reaches 30 where she suddenly finds she is unwanted, has no options, and then turns her skills and understanding of the underworld into other business opportunities, such that she has to now be the child trafficker.
Although, this is the extreme, the thing I've personally experienced that once a woman is continually abused she can then become the abuser even in positions of power and its a cycle I had hoped to never see but I think it is a reality, I hope it doesn't happen to me.