“A few years ago, I trusted someone I clearly shouldn’t have and ended up with herpes. I’ve had therapy and come to terms with having it, and actually found in the last few years it’s barely had any effect on me at all…except when it comes to relationships.
It’s happened time and time again, I meet a nice guy, spend some time getting to know him and then once I tell him ‘whoosh’ he’s out the door! I totally understand why people would be uncomforatble with this, and accept that its their choice, but ouch! Many friends have suggested not telling potential partners, but this just doesn’t sit right with me.
So my group therapy question is how and when do you tell a potential partner? Is there any hope or should I just resign myself to a lonely future…or lying?
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I didn't realise how lucky I've been with my partner until I read this. 3 months into our relationship I contracted HSV1, but with genital symptoms. Most humiliating doctor's appointment, where she had to call in a more experienced doctor to examine me because it was such a bad outbreak.
I sat my partner down (which was hard enough to do) the next day and told him what had happened. Neither of us had ever had unprotected sex before so we had no idea how I'd gotten it, but he still promised that we'd work through it together. That was over a year and a half ago, we're still together and that has been my only outbreak to date (thank god).
I can't imagine what I'd do if we break up and I have to explain to a new partner. I think that there's a problem with a culture of ignoring coldsores, which so many people get, but stigmatising anyone who had HSV2 when its bad enough to just have the virus and outbreaks, let alone deal with having to explain it to prospective partners.
Hey,
when I got Herpes, it was from someone who pretended to be my friend for three
years. He knew he had it and he really didn't give a crap about if I got it or
not. He flat out lied to me and told me he had had a clean std test. When I
turned up with it a week later, he told me to go to the doctor and ask them for
Valtrex. "You will be fine." Then I found mpwherpes.com. This site
gave me the confidence and understanding I needed to be happy.
I have a question..
I got my first STD check last year and discovered I had chlamydia. I took the tablets which my Dr said would cure the STD and I believe it has.
Why I wanted the STD check in the first place was because I had suspected I had contracted herpes (had a few symptoms - sores, a blister etc). However, when the results came back she never mentioned herpes so I assumed I was clear.
So I am curious, can herpes only be detected during an outbreak? And/or may I have had an STD check that didn't look for herpes, if that makes sense?
genital herpes is not actually part of a general STI check so you need to ask your doctor to specifically test for it.
i was told by my doctor that if it is your first breakout (and you know this is the first time you have been exposed to the virus), it wont show up in the inital test as it is not yet properly in your blood stream, and it will show up when tested after about 2-3 weeks.
so my advice is, if its been longer than 3 weeks since you first noticed the symptoms why not go to your doctor again and specifically ask to be tested for it!