Totally relatable: Kim Kardashian's argument with her mother over $1 million worth of marble.

Don’t you hate it when your ma steals your expensive imported marble that you were planning to use for your palatial bathroom and uses it for her own ridiculous house-sized bathroom?

In an exchange that may sap you of the will to live, Kim Kardashian, 35, accuses Kris Jenner, 60, of stealing her imported Italian marble and vows to make her pay for it.

Ugh, my mum pulls stuff like that all the time. Like, once, she said I could have this necklace, but then she totally reneged. I mean, it was hers, and I would have definitely lost it, but still. I feel you, Kimbo. Mums are just the pits.

“When we moved in with my mom the first time, we bought a whole ton of marble – all these slabs from out of the country, and she took my marble, has never mentioned it, has never paid for it, and now I have to figure out a new plan,” Kardashian, 35, says.

“Kim, let me very kindly –” begins Kris.

“I had to change Kanye [West]’s whole bathroom,” Kim cuts her off.

Stay tuned for his new album about this incredible hardship, Watch My Awful Dark Twisted Marble Bathroom Throne Fantasy.

Watch the exchange here… Post continues after video.

It goes on, and on, culminating with the mother and daughter making a million-dollar bet on Kris finding replacement gold Calacatta marble for her daughter’s bathroom. If she can’t, she says, she’ll rip the marble out of her own bathroom and give it to Kim.

You know, this is a lot like the Elgin marbles, if Kim is Greece and Kris is England.

If only England would follow Kris’s admirable example.