Gah! Khloe Kardashian hid under the bed while Kris and Bruce Jenner had "wild" sex.

As a child, Khloe Kardashian, 31, endured a trauma no child should ever have to: she witnessed her parents having sex.

This explains so much.

It all came about through another sad event in the young Khloe Kardashian’s life: playing hide and seek but never being looked for.

She hid under her mother’s bed and waited so long for someone to come and find her that she eventually fell asleep. Is this a metaphor for her position in the Kardashian collective?

I digress.

“I woke up to the bed shaking and I was too scared to leave, so I had to wait for the whole thing [to finish],” she said on her show Kocktails with Khloe.

“I knew because of the moan… It was honestly wild. My mum feels bad about it still and we still talk about it all the time, I’m like, ‘I’m scarred for life.'”

Later, she shared some pointers she may or may not have picked up under that bed.

“I believe in dirty talk. Communicating during sex is a MUST, and I actually think it’s rude if you’re not vocal, LOL. If my guy isn’t vocal, I’m not excited,” she wrote on her website.

“How am I supposed to know if he’s enjoying himself??? I don’t even care what you actually say, either – to me that’s not the important part.”