When you have an infant, sleep is on your mind.
A new mother craves nothing more than sleep. She remembers how easy sleep was to come by without a baby; she talks about the amount of sleep she’s getting with her other new mother friends and the few family members who will still listen to her; she wills and pleads with her child and maybe turns to religion but nothing helps.
The shrill newborn cry creeps into her brain each and every time she manages to drift off.
It’s tempting, then, to give co-sleeping a try.
As midwife Cath Curtin describes on Mamamia‘s Year One podcast, “Full co-sleeping is when you go to bed, your child goes to bed with you, and everyone sleeps in the same bed.”
It's not to be confused with the act of putting a toddler or young child in their own bed, only to wake up the next morning to find they've made their way into yours during the night.
"An Australian study from 2000 found that 80% of babies spent some time co-sleeping in the first six months," says host of Year One and Mamamia Head of Entertainment Holly Wainwright.
Holly, a mum-of-two herself, goes on "Most, if not every mum at some stage has slept with their baby in bed."
For any mum, this rings true. Whether intentionally or otherwise, there are times when you wake up with a jolt realising you've fallen asleep with the baby on the boob. Or next to you. Or while you're sitting in bed with bub in your arms.
Year One co-host and also-mother-of-two Christie Hayes knows the feeling all too well: "I didn't get out of bed. I was breastfeeding in my bed and my baby was resting on the pillow. I closed my eyes for what I thought was two seconds, and woke up an hour and a half later, sitting up... it happens."
Top Comments
When my 6 month old was a newborn, still in the hospital, I was sitting in a chair to feed her but absolutely could not stay awake. I ended up putting her next to me in bed to feed because I was petrified of dropping her otherwise. I've had to do the same thing at home as well. I think there is a big difference between planned co-sleeping and accidentally falling asleep with the baby. All the cases I have heard about if baby deaths have been when the mother falls asleep with the baby on the couch or in bed where she actually wasn't planning on sleeping with the baby. When I put my daughter in bed with me - (and I did the same thing with my son when he was a baby) - she is in her sleeping bag and I tuck my blanket around me so that my blanket isn't over her. I have my arm around her so she can't fall out of bed, and also do that I am aware of her presence in my sleep. I avoid feeding her on the other (inside) breast if I can but if I needed to I would feed her on that side first, sitting up, and then put her on the outside breast to lie down with her.
I actually prefer her sleeping in her own bed, but she has times where she is hungrier during the night or unsettled with teething etc and I would be a wreck if I didn't put her in bed with me.
I think there needs to be better education on how to cosleep safely - because the majority of mums will do it at some point - there are times when it's the only way for everyone to get some sleep.
I have loved co sleeping with my three babies. However, I don't drink, smoke, am a very light sleeper and don't move around in my bed. My partner moves into the spare bed when the baby is little, because he is a heavy sleeper and does move about. I place my baby up with their head close to the Bedhead, in their own wraps, and I sleep without a pillow, moving lower down in my bed so their is no concern a duvet will accidentally be moved over them. I never breastfed laying down as the risk of falling asleep is too great. I understand the reasons given for not co sleeping, but I feel safe and confident. Also I have found it absolutely helps my babies be more settled and sleep better. i do think it is more natural for a baby to be close to mama and they respond accordingly. However I definitely do not think its a one size fits all!!