'My mother-in-law thinks I'm too harsh in what I expect of my children.'

There’s a disagreement in my family at the moment. I know, I know, what’s new? Families always seem to have something brewing but let me be self indulgent and share with you my issue because I’d love to know what other people think.

I’ve got three children and I expect them to do housework. My mother in law disagrees with me and thinks I am too harsh. She is of the opinion that kids should be allowed to be kids and that it is an adult’s job to maintain a house and the family living in it.

My theory is this. We are a household made up of five family members. No one in the family is more important than another and each member of the household should, and does, help out when it comes to chores. They all make the mess, they can all help to deal with it.

Of course the tasks I ask of them are age appropriate (I’m not letting a two year old bleach the bathroom, for example) but yeah, they are expected to clean up after themselves and help out when it comes to household jobs.

"I'm simply not going to play the role of full time maid" (istock)

I'm their mother, not their maid so at the end of the day when they are doing playing with their toys I expect them to pack them away. If they don't, I throw them out. Simple as that. I expect my children to set the table at night and help put away their washing once I've taken the time to do it for them. I don't think it's really asking that much.

Do I care that they are tired after a long day at school? Not really. That's life. Harsh but real. I also have no intention of offering them pocket money in exchange for these jobs. If you live in the house, you contribute to the house. No one is going to pay you to clean up your room later in life and I'm not about to start doing it now.

Basically I'm not interested in raising molly coddled kids who can't look after themselves (or won't because there has always been someone there to do it for them).

If they make a mess, they can clean it up. (istock)

The flip side to this argument is my mother in law who firmly believes that as the mother of the house it's my responsibility to look after everyone in it. In her mind she was happy to clean up after children, sort washing, make dinners, basically look after the house with no assistance. That was her choice and if she was happy to run her family in such a way, good on her. The result however was a husband who wouldn't think twice about putting his dirty washing on the floor (a magical fairy had always picked it up for him)  and children who left home with little to no concept of how much work it really takes to look after yourself. I'm not interested in producing another generation of them.

So what do you think? Do you make your children do housework or should the mother look after most of it by herself?