I was one of six kids, with four rough and tumble brothers and a big sister who could hold her own with the best of them. Pigs-tails tied to the back of bus seats, playing commandoes with real rocks, catching cane toads, that kind of tomboy caper. I thought I was pretty tough and Jana, the perfumed steamroller had already paved the way for young women journos like me to play with the big boys in the testosterone-driven world of television current affairs.
I had slept in bombed-out hotels in siege-torn Sarajevo, interviewed senior members of the Taliban, I’d been frogmarched at gun point out of the parliamentary compound during the 2000 coup in Fiji. In fact the coup leader George Speight sent a messenger around to my hotel to tell me I’d better watch out after I asked the wrong questions. That night I went to bed with the iron under the cover just in case I had to clock a midnight visitor. I’d received death threats from a people-smuggler in Jakarta, hand delivered under my hotel door.
But none of this equipped me with the skills to negotiate the minefield that was my one-time tyrannical boss. This A-grade bully, among other things, literally made a crucifix sign with his fingers behind my back when I walked into the main office, in front of all the other staff.
He once called me a pig in swill. He told me and anyone who would listen that the reason he did not like me was because I reminded him of one of his former wives, and there were several of them. Standing up to him would invite more abuse. The misogyny of it all would put Alan Jones to shame.
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Sadly, the sociopath that is the GM at my place of work is my bully. The company belongs to someone in my family and I work there, I have tried and tried to tell my family member that this person is a bully, but the bully is so good at making themselves look good that I am not believed - the staff turn over has been high since this person took over as manager, but the economy has been good and so has business, so the family member is only looking at the bottom dollar figures. It's affecting my health, I don't sleep, I wake up nearly every night in panic, I am in tears thinking about it, I get a knot in my stomach every morning I have to go in to the office. I was told that it's my fault, I'm not friendly, I'm not likeable, I isolate myself from the team(which I didn't do until this bully came into the business) and was asked to work from home - which is fantastic. I have even had this person call me on a day I had scheduled as annual leave and they made me cry because I answered an email(I wasn't supposed to working at all, but I always check emails even on holidays) saying that I was on leave and that I'd get to what the other team member was asking for when I returned - I'd said it in a sort of sarcastic humour way, but that obviously didn't translate to email, and I was berated. I've thought about suicide. I hate my life, but I stupidly have got myself into debt and can't see any way to get myself out of it as I'm paid well, and have no translatable skills that would pay as much. Maybe my family member thinks that because I'm paid well I should just take it. Today I was humiliated in front of the whole open plan office. "Yeah right..." was all it took.....
I worked for a company for 5 years and had 6 months off for maternity leave. My boss was the same one I'd had for the past 2 years, never had a problem, until I returned. It started with the fact that I didn't get my role back for 5 weeks, they kept the girl who was my mat leave cover on board still doing my role. My boss did not speak more than 5 words to me in that time, treated this other girl like the second coming, left me out of meetings I used to run, would email me with the most ridiculous and inane requests that would go into such minute detail to tell me how to do tasks I had been doing for 5 years. Sad thing was she was well known for "turning" on employees and 11 complaints had been made to HR and the CEO about her. Nothing was done about it.
I wish I had taken it further but the best thing to do was to leave. I didn't want my girls to see their mother in tears every night, anxious and depressed.
There needs to be a government body independent of fairwork and workcover that isn't so policy based. These people are destroying the confidence of many and they come in many different forms - from actively and openly aggressive to passive aggressive (my ex boss). I would love to confront her now and let her know what damage she did to me.