health

Em Rusciano: "Ladies, your vagina is not magical. Let me explain…"

Dear girls – if you don’t want to get pregnant, use protection.

 

 

 

 

Hold onto your ovaries, ladies – this one is an absolute corker.

The Guttmacher Institute has conducted a study around unintended pregnancies that lead to termination in the US.

The results have just come to light and they were so STAGGERING that even the boffins were confounded enough to headline the findings, “A year of magical thinking leads to unintended pregnancy”.

MAGICAL THINKING.

Here are the top reasons why the women interviewed for the study felt they wouldn’t get pregnant:

1. Perceived invulnerability to pregnancy. (Immune to getting pregnant.)

2. Self diagnosed infertility. (SELF DIAGNOSED?!)

3. Incorrect use of birth control. (Were they putting the condom, on this man’s ear?)

Ladies, this is not a form of contraception.

4. NO BIRTH CONTROL. (D’uh)

It was the top response that really blew my mind, the “perceived invulnerability to pregnancy”.

They understood pregnancy COULD happen but, for reasons none of them could explain, they just thought they were immune to getting up the duff.

One woman actually said: “It’s like you believe something so much, like ‘I just really don’t want children’, and for some reason I thought that would prevent me from getting pregnant.”

Say what now?

I really, really believe that one day Charlie Hunman will come to my house topless holding a puppy offering to do my tax and heal my soul but for shit’s sake… That doesn’t make it so.

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Do you remember “The Secret”? The whole, “positive thinking can achieve life changing results” situation? I’m pretty sure they didn’t mean it to be used for birth control.

No one wants to get an abortion. It’s not in any woman’s life plan and I think most of us would agree that the ultimate goal would be to reduce the number of them occurring. The study concluded that more education is needed to address the misconceptions around a woman’s risk of getting pregnant. Ya think?!

I thought we had already covered this situation?!

Those cartoon sperm still haunt me.

I was put in front of a damaging video called “Where do I come from” at a very early age and that spelled it out for me in graphic, cartoon imagery.

Those sperm with creepy faces still haunt my dreams…

Animated jizz aside, this study suggests that we still need to teach some women that if you have unprotected sex, forgot to the the pill or have not been diagnosed with infertility by a medical professional, there is a good chance an unwanted pregnancy is headed your way.

But let us not forget lesson ONE:

Believing you have a magical vagina whose superpower is to repel pregnancy is not a great contraception plan KAY?

KAY?!

What do you think of the magical vagina phenomenon?