BY MIA FREEDMAN Is there a more offensive term than ‘birth rape’? If there is, I haven’t heard it. ‘Birth rape’ is the extraordinary name some women use to describe a birth that involves medical ‘intervention’, even when it is done to save the life of mother or baby. I’m confused as well as appalled by this description.
When did doctors become the enemy? And hospitals? And medicine? And how have attempts to save the lives of mothers and babies become confused with violent crimes?
Lately I’ve noticed a worrying trend among some groups and individuals towards demonising the medical profession and it baffles me.
Between the anti-vaccination brigade at the AVN who believe immunisations are an evil conspiracy between scientists, doctors and ‘Big Pharma’ (big pharmaceutical companies) to make money and those who believe the same thing about other potentially life-saving procedures such as cancer treatment, there are some seriously disturbing beliefs out there that can have deadly consequences.
Which brings me to the Freebirthers.
Freebirthing is different to home-birthing even though both involve giving birth at home. A bit like the extreme sport version of birthing, freebirthers choose to give birth “freely” at home without the assistance of doctors or midwives. So there is nobody present who has any medical experience if things go wrong.
There’s an inquest underway this week into a free birth where things did go tragically wrong and ended in the death of a baby girl (her mother, a freebirthing advocate, claims the baby was stillborn). On freebirthing websites, there is much talk of ‘birth rape’ and ‘birth trauma’, as if hospitals and doctors and even midwives were somehow conspiring to harm women and babies.
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My GP told me that if you give birth in a private hospital you are more likely to have a caesarian than in a public hospital. Why? Money. Sorry Mia, but unfortunately while most doctors have our best interests in mind, some don't. Many of my friends and family have suffered due to bad treatment or lack there of in hospital, during childbirth and other procedures, so I cannot pretend that the system is perfect. I'm not saying that doctors are evil, but I can see why some people's experiences cause them to turn away from the medical system.
After reading all these comments, and I mean all of them, I have come to terms with my decision to have an Unassisted Home Birth. I am not holier than thou, I am an average woman. I am not unintelligent, I am enrolled in college in pre-med now. I am not unloving, I pretty much love everything. I want to give my child the best start in life and that's why I would never go to a hospital for my birth. Hospitals are for the sick, injured, and dying. As far as i know, pregnancy is not a disease or illness. No one in that hospital helped make my child, and none of them is going to take care of him when he comes home. They aren't going to raise him, nurture him, or watch him grow. Why would you want some stranger holding your child? Laying on a bed in stirrups while the whole room gets a peek? Really? Maybe I'm just a prude but my husband is the only one allowed down there. I respect doctors very much, but I respect myself even more. I love me. And unless you skipped biology, or phycology, the flight or fight instinct is alive and well. When a woman is frightened, her uterus turns white, it is devoid of blood and makes labor pretty much impossible. Research has shown that even having someone watch plays games in your subconcious that makes birth harder. I didn't invite anyone into the bedroom when the baby was made, and I definetly don't want anyone but my husband in the room when our baby is born. I want to give my baby good vibes, confidence, and love. I can't do that when I'm drugged, I can't do that when I'm anxious or stressed, and I can't do that if I do not believe in my own abilities. I am not afraid. I am well prepared. And I apologize if my views contradict those of others. But I refuse to believe that millions of years of evolution is wrong, that the very fabric of what we are is wrong. We may be human, but from all the intervention I've seen and read about, it's pretty sad when something so natural gets turned into something so mechanical. I do believe in whatever floats your boat. And I know that free birth is not for everyone, I respect that. I am choosing to do what is best for me and my child. What's next? Going to the gyno so you are allowed to have your period? Calling the gastro every time you need to defficate, just in case you burst something? Rushing to the ER for a paper cut so the can give you a tetanus, antibiotics, and gauze pads? Sometimes things are just plain loony if you ask me.
Please tell us how your "freebirthing" plans worked out for you.