By KATE HUNTER
There are as many kinds of grandmothers as there are, well, grandmothers. According to the people who make most ads, TV shows and movies though, grandmas are nice, slightly squishy old ladies who like to bake and go to bed after A Current Affair. Most grandads are pleasantly grizzled old gents who wear floppy canvas hats, are good are building billy-carts and telling stories about the war – any war.
I was lucky when it came to grandparents, I knew all four of them well. My kids still have their four grandparents, we live close to them and spend time with them pretty regularly.
Just as an FYI, you should know that this post is sponsored by The Aerogard Great Gran and Grampout. But all opinions expressed by the author are 100% authentic and written in their own words.
Not one of my grandparents, or my kids’ grandparents falls into the screen-cliches described above.
My father-in-law for example, fought in Vietnam, but understandably, prefers not to talk about it. Despite being 82, he’s right into computers and loves nothing more than the kids showing him the funny, stupid stuff they’ve found on YouTube.
My mum is 73 this month and is the opposite of your knitting nanna. She’s fit as a flea with a Stairmaster, drives a fast car (thankfully, not fast) loves a foreign film, and is more likely to take my girls shopping for new clothes than teach them to make scones. A pity, really, I like fresh scones more than new clothes.
My own bag of memories with grandparents is mixed. Pop was a racing man – my parents married on a Thursday because there was a big meeting at Flemington that Saturday. It was all right though because he won enough to cover the reception. His wife, my Gran, was a tiny, lovely woman. Gran did cook – her pasties were a standout, but she broke the mould by liking pop music and always watched Countdown with me.
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My grandparents are marvellous. I don't visit them as often as I'd like (they live interstate, so I only see them 3-4 times a year).
My last surviving great-grandparent I see more often, because she lives locally. She loves her great-great-grandkids(!), and spoiling us all with her "old lady" cooking. That she can still (quite comfortably) have a family of four around for dinner (3 courses!) at 90-something makes her the very epitome of awesome in my book.
My parents: we see them once a month(ish), and the kids love them. My in-laws are also wonderful, and look after the kids once a week.
I had wonderful grandparents. Well, I'll rephrase. My maternal grandmother was a saint and I absolutely adored her. My paternal grandfather always made me laugh and I felt so loved by both. Their respective partners (the other grandparents) - not so much. My paternal grandmother disliked me immensely, as I was, in her own words, "my mother's daughter and that's not much at all". So needless to say I didn't care to spend too much time with her. But my two gorgeous grandparents were amazing and they were also friends, so I could often spend time with them both at the same time.
I am really disappointed that my own children don't have the same relationships with their own grandparents. Their father's parents have nothing to do with them - declaring them invalid (yes they used the word invalid) when we divorced. My father has Alzheimer's and my mother is so cranky and bitter, she also making it known to my son that because he is male he is not welcome in her life. Fortunately, their step-father's mother is an absolute delight and accepts them into her life and treats them exactly as she does her biological grandchildren. She attends rowing regattas, school award nights, birthday parties, music recitals, proud as punch of my children. We all adore spending time with her.
So to all the step-grandparents, who open their hearts and their homes to their new additions, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.