Jane Hunt can remember playing kiss chasey back when she was in Reception.
“It was a laugh,” she says. “I have no negative memories and remember trying desperately to catch a boy called Seb, in particular!”
Now mum to four-year-old Peggy and two-year-old Fred, Hunt doesn’t think kiss chasey should be banned in schools. In fact, she sees the game as a good opportunity.
“I get sick of things being banned when they can be used to start such positive conversations, like that of consent.”
Hunt got in touch with Mamamia after hearing Andrew Daddo and Holly Wainwright talking about kiss chasey on the parenting podcast This Glorious Mess.
Their discussion was sparked off by Cat Rodie’s story about her six-year-old daughter who told a group of boys at school that she didn’t want to play the game but was chased, pinned down, tickled and kissed. Wainwright mentioned that some schools had banned kiss chasey, but both she and Daddo felt torn over whether that was the right thing to do. That led to a discussion on talking to children about consent.
Hunt, a former nanny, says consent is “super important” to her.
Listen to the discussion in this week’s episode of TGM. (Post continues after audio.)
“I really want Peggy to grow up understanding in no uncertain terms that no means no, no matter who is saying it,” she says.
Peggy wrestles with her dad Jono “constantly” and has been doing it since she could crawl.
“I’m not sure who loves it more,” Hunt says. “The rule has always been, if anyone ever says ‘stop’, you stop. Even though most of the time when she says ‘stop’ she is giggling madly and doesn’t really want the game to stop, we stop. Two seconds later she will say ‘GO!” and it’s game on again.
“The lesson is pretty basic. We want our girl to grow up with the understanding that if she says stop and the other party doesn’t, there is a problem.”
Hunt believes kiss chasey is “innocent fun”, but the normal rules still need to apply.
Top Comments
A six year old cannot "consent" to playing a game where they're chased and kissed. Even if they said "yes, I want to play" they don't comprehend what they're consenting to. That's the exact reason why children don't vote or get married, they can't consent because that don't know what they're saying yes to.
Nope. Sorry. I'm a teacher and I'm very glad it's banned where I teach. It's much easier to just say "no, Kiss Chasey/Catch and Kiss isn't allowed" than it is to monitor every interaction in the playground, making sure the kids being kissed are a part of the game and actually want to be kissed. I'm not sure if people who aren't teachers realise how difficult this would be.
When I was at school, Catch and Kiss was allowed for at least part of the time I was there. I was never into any sort of chasing game and definitely didn't want to be grabbed and kissed by whoever happened to catch me (which would have been everyone, because I was slow and uncoordinated). Still though, there was one boy who used to target me, grab me and kiss me every time. I gave up telling the teacher about it after the first time I told one and she replied with "oh, that just means he likes you!", like I was supposed to pleased about being pulled into a game I didn't want to play and being kissed when I didn't want to be. I'm glad schools take a harder line on this sort of stuff now. We don't need to bring it back. There are other ways to teach consent that do not involve children being essentially sexually assaulted.