Face it: Over the top proposals are all about the groom.

Don’t you love a proposal?

The music. The theatrics. The skywriting. The fireworks. The marine animals. The flash mobs. The resurrection of extinct species to present the ring. The round-the-world treasure hunts with clues in every place the couple has holidayed together culminating in the reveal of the newly purchased tropical island on which the two of them will spend the rest of their days in holy married bliss. The ONE MILLION YOUTUBE VIEWS.

Oh, and the part where two people agree to spend the rest of their lives together, I guess.

Yawn.

Australian man Liam Cooper had been dating his new girlfriend Amy for six years when he decided he wanted to pop the question. But he didn’t want to do anything BORING like take her to dinner or buy her some flowers. He wanted to do something different. Something she wouldn’t see coming.

So Liam Cooper proposed to his girlfriend Amy by recreating the music video to the song ‘Rude’ and screening it at a real live cinema filled with Amy’s friends and family. And filming it, of course. Because what’s the point if you don’t broadcast it to the world?

(I mean, everlasting love, sure. But what else?)

Then, to rack up the clicks, he forced his fiance Amy to stand with him on camera and talk about how awesome the proposal was.

BUT AMY DOES NOT LOOK HAPPY.

Proposals like Liam’s have been going viral for years. They’re outrageous, over-the-top, and often heralded as ‘THE BEST PROPOSAL EVER’. (Seriously. Google it. There are an awful lot of best proposals ever).

These are proposals where, more often than not, the focus is on the gesture, not the question – a gesture that’s enormous just for the sake of it, not because it’s something your partner might really love.

These are proposals where the focus is all on the proposer: Look at me! Look how much effort I went to! Look how great I am! 

Watch Liam’s proposal here. 

The comfort and pleasure of the person on the receiving end is never considered. You know what Amy says when her future husband bends down on one knee to actually ask her to marry him? “This is so embarrassing”. She’s not happy, or excited – not yet, at least –  because she’s getting over the fact that she’s just been made a spectacle of in front of a cinema-full of people.

These are proposals where there is no option to say no. There is no moment of bliss where it feels like you’re the only two people in the world should you choose to say yes. There is no connection between the couple, because the purpose isn’t the proposal itself: it’s seeing how many people you can get to comment on it afterwards.

Call me old-fashioned, but this is my idea of a perfect proposal: No audience. No cameras. No fireworks. Just the person I love telling me I love them and giving me a diamond ring so enormous I can’t lift my hand.

Kidding.

Sort of.