Robyn Barker, author of Baby Love, thinks that using grandparents for regular babysitting is a slippery slope to exploitation
by REBECCA SPARROW
Well, this is awkward.
Apparently grandparents around the country are in the midst of plotting a coup. Thousands of them are fed up with being used as a ‘dumping ground’ (OUCH) for their grandkids while their adult kids head out to work.
Not that I’d know. Just a week after I married Brad, my parents sold my childhood home (the house they’d lived in for thirty years) and retired to a house by the beach. IN ANOTHER STATE. And so my dream of free babysitting at Gran and Grandpa’s house disappeared faster than you can say, “Why is your Foxtel IQ full of episodes of Bargain Hunt?”.
With no grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings or even third cousins in the same city as us, Brad and I have just had to suck it up and accept the fact that we have to fork out for babysitters. (Who charge $20 an hour. And expect dinner. And Foxtel. And wifi. And snacks. Seriously, I think I’d rather try my chances surviving a Nanna coup than dealing with the rider most babysitters come with …)
As for my parents, these days they’re spending their time playing golf and tennis, taking art classes, gardening and (clearly) watching that annoying man in the panama hat on Bargain Hunt. Sure that sounds good. But it’s hard to believe they’d prefer to do that rather than deal with my four-year-old who looks like an angel but has the personality of Robert Mugabe.
But I digress.
Baby guru Robin Barker (author of the best-selling baby manual ‘Baby Love’) thinks that using grandparents as a regular childcare option is a slippery slope to blatant exploitation. The Sydney Morning Herald reports:
Robyn’s book, “Baby Love”
The baby guru Robin Barker has one firm rule when it comes to looking after her grandchildren: she won’t double as a nanny while their parents go off to work.
The best-selling author of Baby Love and The Mighty Toddler argues that a weekly child-minding commitment is a big ask of grandparents and suspects many feel secretly resentful about doing it.
”I’m prepared to do quite a bit but I’m not prepared to mind children while people go out to work,” said
”It’s a huge commitment when you’re doing even one day a week … we really don’t have the physical and emotional strength we had when we were raising our own children. A day with a toddler is a very long day.”
According to National Seniors Australia here are nearly 300,000 Australians aged between 50 and 74 caring for their grandchildren, and a third of these are also employed in paid work.
What happened to the whole ‘it takes a village to raise a child” philosophy? Or has the village packed up and decided to do a driving holiday around Australia?
Do you (or do you expect to) rely on your parents to look after your kids? And is that fair?
Top Comments
I am so glad to find a group of grand parents that will understand my feelings.
My husband and I have three sons and we always took care of them ourselves, we sacrificed in order for me to be a stay at home mom, and raise our children, never even thinking this job belonged to anyone but us. My boys are grown adults with children of their now. My middle son had a disease that lasted for 21 years with much constant care, and he has lived with us. My son has just passed away, and now my daughter in law wants to sign us up to be babysitters at her will for her 4 and 1 year old.
My husband and I are 68 and 71 years of age, my question is how do we avoid being babysitters and just enjoy our grandchildren without being thought of as bad people?
I wanted to be a Grandmother not a babysitter. It started out ok 5 years ago back to work and baby 1 is 6 months old a couple of hours a week... Number 2 arrives 16 months later back to work at 4 months old more hours added to paycheck then Number 3 arrives once again back to work at 6 months more hours taken on... no asking it's just all expectations... Last twelve months the marriage breaks down finds a new partner after 2 months and so the daughter decides to take on fulltime work.. Only has her children one week out of two so she lives the high life the week the kids aren't around and when they are complains its to hard when she only has them a couple of hours an evening and one weekend. Grandma is expected to do 10 hour days babysitting... When I speak up and say about the expectation of all this I get told I no longer able to see the grandchildren or her either.. Totally wiped... So tell me why do the parents of today bother having children.... Just wanted to be a grandma have cuddles and visits...