A secret tape Monica Lewinsky sent Bill Clinton has been leaked.

1. A secret Clinton and Lewinsky tape has allegedly been leaked to the press.

The key word here being allegedly.

US tabloid The National Enquirer (which also reports on aliens, so you know, grain of salt) have apparently got their hands on a secret sexy-times tape Monica Lewinsky sent Bill Clinton back in 1997.

All evidence of the affair was believed to have been destroyed, but allegedly a cleaner kept the tape and decided that today was the ultimate time to release it to the press.

The tape apparently lasts 3 minutes and 47 seconds. Allegedly, it’s basically just Lewinsky trying to convince Clinton to take some time out of leading the free world to come and see her. She even tries to rope his secretary Betty in on the plan.

The National Enquirer haven’t released the tape – they’ve only published a transcript. They use lots of words like HOT and STEAMY and SEX to make sure you believe they have it though. Here’s some of what Lewinsky allegedly said:

“Hi handsome. I couldn’t bear the idea of sitting down to write you another note. So I though I would tape it, hope that’s ok. Since I know you will be alone tomorrow evening, I have two proposals for you, neither of which is you not seeing me.

I could take my clothes off and start… well… I know you wouldn’t enjoy that?

Now the first thing that has to happen is that you need to preplan with Betty that you will leave the office at, I don’t know, at 7, 7:30, so that everyone else who hates me that causes me lots of trouble goes home.

Then you quickly sneak back and then in the meantime I quickly sneak over and then we can have a nice little visit for, you know, 15 minutes or half an hour. Whatever you want.

You can’t refuse me because I’m too cute and adorable and soon I won’t be here anymore to pop over.”

HOT. SEX. STEAMY. Allegedly.

2. Kim Kardashian has been slammed for tricking her followers AGAIN with fake baby photos of North West. See the latest shot and read about the controversy here.

 

3. Angelina Jolie was in Sydney yesterday and nobody noticed.

Overnight, Angelina Jolie and her 11-year-old son Pax have managed an incredibly inconspicuous trip to Australia. The pair snuck in on a commercial flight on Wednesday night, and then left by private jet this morning.

But here’s the crazy thing: they were only photographed leaving this morning. So, one of the world’s most famous women and her equally recognisable kid sat on a COMMERCIAL FLIGHT and then wandered around a city for a whole 24 hours before anyone thought to take a picture. They even went on a harbour cruise.

That sound you just heard? The collective thump of every entertainment reporter in the country kicking themselves.

4. Can your dog balance a hamburger on his head? Amanda Seyfried‘s can. Watch the adorable video here.

 

5. Beyonce posts the most adorable picture Instagram has ever seen:

It’s a family of Timberlands!! Obviously hers are the ridiculous stiletto version on the right because BEYONCE.

And there’s plenty more where that came from. Check out this B gallery:

6. Hugh Jackman can lift HOW MUCH at the gym? See the gobsmacking pic of him hefting here.

7. Miley kisses a giant baby. Yeah, we weren’t that surprised, either.

So, in case you hadn’t got the memo, Miley’s a grown-up now. That means that she can do really grown-up things, like kissing dolls:

But now she’s decided kissing dolls doesn’t really assert her newfound adulthood enough, so she’s decided to ramp up the age difference and start kissing babies. Adult babies, that is.