Dear parents who stormed out of the Miley Cyrus concert in Melbourne...

By EM RUSCIANO.

Hey parents who stormed out of Friday night’s Miley Cyrus concert in Melbourne!

NOPE.

Sorry, check your outrage at the door. I am outraged by your stupid outrage. Taking your child to a Miley Cyrus concert and being offended by her on stage antics is akin to turning up to a Ku Klux Klan meeting and being surprised by racist paraphernalia.

Because this.

And this.

And this.

What the actual fuck is wrong with you people? You give parents a bad name. We are already up against it and now your douche canoe behaviour is making it even worse.

Jerks.

I don’t even CARE if this upsets you, I am done with you. If you actually took a child under the age of 16 to a Miley Cyrus concert and couldn’t believe it when she swore gratuitously, dry humped a foam finger, simulated sex with a member of her band: I. Am. So. Done. With. You.

Miley has been shoving her new “grown up” ways in our faces for the past three or so years now.

Post continues after gallery.

Were you asleep?

In a stupidity induced coma?

On Mars?

When did Hannah Montana die? At the VMAs when Miley’s tongue was attempting to escape her head – that was the moment she essentially nailed her childhood to the cross. She was then born again after a brief stop in the seventh circle of hell as a pop sex freak wild child who apparently doesn’t give a fuck what anyone thinks.

AKA not a role model for your child.

I would understand your outrage if her concert had been billed as a “G” rated Hannah Montana hoe-down and then she’d gone out there naked, riding bare back on a back up dancer dressed as a stallion licking a bong shaped like a dick. Then I’d get it. However, we are talking about an artist who in the last couple of years has:

1. Smoked a joint on stage at the Euro MTV awards.

2. Posed nude for controversial photographer Terry Richardson.

3. Posed nude on the cover of several magazines.

4. Violated a foam finger on stage at the VMAs.

5. Dry Humped a piece of heavy machinery.

6. Twerked until she could tweak no more into Robyn Thicke’s crotch.

7. Glamorised “molly” (Pure form of the drug MDMA)

8. Stated on many occasions that she isn’t Disney’s puppet child anymore.

So, if you still think Miley is someone your child should be looking up to, I suggest you need to reassess your values and long term goals in this area. By the way, I do not judge Miley Cyrus for the above list. Whatever floats her outrageous boat, she’s not hurting anyone. And sorry, I was around for Madonna’s Erotica coffee table book. Miley doesn’t even come CLOSE with her behaviour.

As you can well tell, this situation has blown my mind. When I read about the walk outs, I wanted to kick something fluffy. I was ashamed of my own: we parents, we gottsta stick together. Reassure the non-breeders that we’ve not all become consumerist zombie wowsers permanently outraged at the world and not prepared to take responsibility for our own kids.

Because this is YOUR problem not Miley’s. She has not been backward in coming forward about who and what she is. 

This.

And this:

And this.

What do you think? Should parents have known what to expect from Miley?

(Or were they, in fact, behaving like the proverbial douche canoe?)

Here’s how Miley changed up her image over the years…