Fat, skinny, old or gay? Then don't wear our dresses, says fashion director.

The bandage dress, first created by Herve Leger in the 1980s and relaunched circa 2007, has been seen hugging the bodies of everyone from Kim Kardashian to Caitlyn Jenner for the past thirty years.

Why? Well, the clue is in the name. The bandage dress is made from bands of a thick, stretchy material that acts kind of like Spanx. It sucks you in in all the right places and makes your boobs spill out of your top. If that’s the look you’re after.

Women love what it does for their bodies, but the UK boss-man of Herve Leger, now owned by Max Azria, does not like what women do for his dresses.

In my ignorance, I figured Patrick Couderc, UK director of Herve Leger, would be ecstatic at his products’ near ubiquity on red carpets worldwide.

Not so.

He’s taken time out of his busy schedule to explain: the insanely popular bandage dress is not meant to be worn by women with “prominent hip bones” or “flat chests”.

Confusingly, the dress is also verboten for “voluptuous” women. And lesbians. And “lower class” women.

Couderc recently told the Daily Mail that the dress had become a victim of its own success.

Couderc said he “refuses to give free dresses to celebrities if they are judged to lack sufficient class,” and believes that “if you’re a committed lesbian and you are wearing trousers all your life, you won’t want to buy a Leger dress. Lesbians would want to be rather butch and leisurely.”

Oh yes, and older women? “You should not display everything like you’re 23.”

Being so precious about the boa-constrictor of a dress is hilarious considering it’s the most recognisable red-carpet gown of all time.

Various incarnations of the garment, which retails for up to $2500, have been seen on every Kardashian, Jenner (including the newly female Caitlyn) and Hilton within a 100km radius of 90210.

Supermodels, heiresses, actresses and the odd athlete have a Herve Leger hanging in their wardrobes.

Writer Rebecca Wilcox described the dress’s effect back in 2008: “My usually stooped posture is forced into an upright pose. My bosom is hiked up to the heavens, and my thighs are clamped together so tightly that walking is nearly impossible.

“I chance a glance in the mirror and am surprised to see I almost have a waist, perhaps even the hint of a smooth bum.”

Check out our gallery of every woman in the entire world in her Herve Leger dress… Post continues after gallery.

I don’t know about you, but I have never been tempted by that Herve Leger dress. But if I had been, I’d probably be rethinking it now.

Let’s leave the last word with Couderc, since he’s been so eloquent thus far.

“You women have a lot of problems. You will lose the plot. You will come and you will put a dress on and you’ll be in front of the mirror, like, ‘Argh, I’m so fat.'”

ARGH!

More men in fashion doing questionable things?

Marc Jacobs uses underage models in show.

Tom Ford is getting slammed for these comments. I think he’s right.

Why are gay men in charge of female fashion?