HAVE MERCY: John Stamos has been arrested.

Uncle Jesse has swapped Full House for the Big House (see what we did there?)

Police have confirmed to a number of news outlets that John Stamos, star of Full House and a number of remarkable telemovies, has been arrested for driving under the influence today and is being kept under observation in hospital.

Apparently concerned onlookers called the police to report that someone with excellent hair (ok, we added that) was driving erratically in Beverley Hills. Police pulled the car over, which was being driven by John Stamos.

Police suspected he was suffering a medical condition, so he was taken to the nearest hospital. There he was diagnosed as being ‘under the influence’, say police. He was then placed under arrest, issued a citation and released into the care of the hospital.

Stamos is scheduled to appear in court to answer the charge of driving under the influence on 11 September.

Next month, Stamos is scheduled to announce the nominations for the Emmy Awards alongside “Orange is the New Black’s” Uzo Aduba. The irony is not lost on us…

Now John Stamos has been on our minds lately (and let’s face it, when is he not?), because he recently talked about the fact that women won’t stop asking him for selfies after sex (the ‘After Sex with Stamos Selfie’, coming to an Instagram near you).

He’s also contributed some amazing sex tips for a new book discretely called, How to F*ck a Woman.

Here’s a taste of some of the sex tips on offer from Uncle Jesse himself.

John Stamos Sex Tip #1: Sleep with everyone. Seriously. Anyone. Even the ones who want your shirts as souvenirs and might do voodoo on them later.

“A couple of women have wanted ‘selfies’ afterwards,” Stamos says, adding, “One girl really wanted my shirt, like a souvenir.”

For more: Video of the day: John Stamos’ ultimate guide to cuddles.

John Stamos Sex Tip #2: Sex is a very intimate and difficult dance that you might be doing wrong. If you can’t hear a woman’s body, you’re definitely doing it wrong. Maybe turn up the volume?

Stamos says: “It’s about listening, asking, talking . . . I guess I do approach sex in a musical way. With me, it’s more rhythm than melody with a woman . . . but it’s all listening . . . With women, you have to listen to their bodies.”

John Stamos Sex Tip #3: Give, give, give.

“I’d rather have a woman have 10 orgasms than me have 10 orgasms.”

John Stamos Sex Tip #4: Be John Stamos.

Stamos says of the book: “If I weren’t John Stamos, I would really need this book.”

But he is John Stamos. He does not need the book. He’s too busy getting laid to read.

Would you take an After-Sex Stamos Selfie?