What on earth is Kourtney Kardashian doing in this photo?

We thought a Kardashian could never surprise us again.

But Kourtney‘s latest Instagram photo has us both shocked and confused.

Mostly because we have absolutely no idea what is going on.

She seems to be using a breast pump, but she’s still fully clothed. Well, she’s mostly naked, but her breasts are covered.

We’re faced with two possible scenarios here.

KATE: Kourtney Kardashian offers to breastfeed Kim’s baby. Disgusting or no big deal?

1. She is attempting to pump breast milk through her shirt. 

It’s been a stressful few days, what with husband Scott Disick checking into rehab and leaving Kourtney in charge of all three kids, but we just can’t imagine that she thinks this is a viable milk-gathering method. What will the baby drink? Expensive black leotard fibres? Air that Kanye West might have breathed? We’re all worried.

2. She has cut holes in her catwoman bodysuit to allow for easy breast-pumping.

Kourtney, we know you have a lot of money, but don’t just CUT HOLES IN YOUR CLOTHES. Repeat after me: regular people take off their shirts to pump their breast milk.

The Kardashians should be our role models. This is why.

Luckily, Kourtney clarified the whole issue with the photo’s caption: “After the show its the after party.” Now, the eagle-eared among you will recognise that as R. Kelly’s classic (cough) Remix to Ignition. The next line is: “After the party is the hotel lobby…”

Is that a clue? Jaysus, don’t tell us she’s moving this scenario to the hotel lobby?

Somebody call security.

UpdateL We’ve been reliably informed that this is actually a bustier designed for hands-free expressing. We’d love to see the Madonna conical bra version ourselves.

Seriously, help us. What is she doing in this photo?