Let's hear it for The Bachelorette's "Bro Code".

Confession time.

I have been totally, 100% sucked in to The Bachelorette.

I was expecting to like it in the usual guilty, embarrassed way I like most reality TV shows. But it’s only two episodes in, and I am f***ing LOVING it.

And you know why? Three words.

The Bro Code.

Never before have I been privy to what happens when a dozen Aussie men hang out, preparing to date one woman (am hoping this situation has never existed in real life…?!).

I’ve never been let into the inner realms of Bro-mance, or Wingman-ing or whatever they call it, before now. I knew it existed. I’ve heard rumours. I’ve just never seen it from the inside.

And boy-oh-Bro, it is BEAUTIFUL.

The fourteen guys who started in The Bachelorette house (who consist of, by my count, 80% dateable guys, 20% ridiculous weirdos for entertainment value) invented a Bro Code within approx 14 seconds.

The Bro Code had one Golden Rule: No Bro-chelor shall interrupt another Bro-chelor when he is having one-on-one time with the Bachelorette.

GENIUS. Simple and perfect. Despite the fact David The Model Dickhead broke the Bro Code on the second night, it made for a successfully established comraderie between the blokes, with a happy fair playing field on which they can hold hands and skip merrily towards their lady prize.

For now.

And the TOUCHING. I never knew a group of men touched each other so much. I’ve seen footballers football, and crickets cricket, and plumbers plumb, and often there is some good ol’ back-slapping between mates, occasionally even a butt-tap.

But I never expected this. The constant cuddling.

The Bros in the Bachelorette house sit around with their arms wrapped around other Bros. They cheer when one of them gets to date their team girlfriend. If any of them are jealous, they either hide it well, or their jealousy is outweighed by genuine wingman-y excitement that their Bro is going on a date.

At one point, one of them was just casually sitting with his hand on another Bro’s knee. Is this what they do?!

I knew that ladies were touchy-feely. I knew that boyfriends and girlfriends were touchy-feely. I just didn’t realise that groups of grown men were so… snuggly. And I LOVE IT.

I don’t doubt that the shit will hit the fan at some point, and the Bro Code will be as forgotten as the two dudes who didn’t make it past the first episode (what were their names? Meh). The more their poor little boy hearts become involved with the same woman, the more the Bromance will be affected. (Or maybe it won’t. Bros for lyf, y’all.)

I also don’t doubt that the women in past series were just as affectionate and supportive and friendly with each other – it’s just reality television’s bullshit editing concept that a bunch of women CAN NEVER get along in any situation, because they are too hormonal and naturally bitchy and periods etc. Women be friendly to each other? Never. (Right, Delta and Jessie J?)

So even though I know the Bro-ness of the fellas is probably temporary, and probably being hammed up in the editing suite… Jeez, it’s good to watch. I catch myself smiling at the television as the boys slap each other on the bum, or high-five the guy who just won a whole date with the Bachelorette, or casually check in with each other’s mental health with a “you good, mate?”.

It’s like I’m spying on a bunch of boys at a sleepover.

Well done, Channel Ten. You’ve got me good. I’m hooked on the Bros.