When Natalie Parker donated three embryos to a woman in need, it was under the understanding that she and her husband would be able to maintain contact with any resulting children.
She simply wanted to foster some semblance of a relationship with them, for her two little boys to know their siblings.
But Natalie says that agreement was broken by a woman who was implanted with the embryo – but then lied about the pregnancy.
The Parkers were told by IVF Australia that their recipient’s pregnancy was unsuccessful. But, Natalie told Fairfax Media that she found photographs proving that the clinic had been mislead – and her stolen embryo was now a healthy baby.
After locating the woman on Facebook, Natalie spotted pictures of a little boy who appeared to have been born close to nine months after the embryo donation was made. Furthermore, the child apparently bore a striking resemblance to Natalie’s three-year-old son, Hugo.
"I think she had baby lust," Ms Parker told Fairfax Media. "She was just thinking about the baby, and now she's got the baby she wants to enjoy it herself and not acknowledge it's got other connections outside the family."
The Facebook account was deleted just one day after Natalie made the discovery, and Fairfax were unable to get in touch with the woman.
IVF Australia is reportedly investigating the case, while the New South Wales government are considering strengthening assisted reproduction laws as a result.
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I have donated embryos and the couple had a baby successfully, however that little boy is their child not mine. They have kindly let me see photos but I really think it is up to the actual parents of the child to make the decisions around how they talk to the child about the circumstances of his conception. The donor of the embryo in this story seem to be very demanding about contact ect, and the donors altruism is really more about her than the gift.
This kind of stuff confuses me. I think, if I was born from my mothers womb, but i'm not of my mother and father, then its like adoption... only with the experience of birth thrown in, but the child is never the mothers actual genetic child. I'd always want to know my (genetic) parents. I have a close friend who was adopted and was really messed up her whole life by not knowing where she came from. I wonder too about all these children of sperm donors hooking up or having children together. Yuck. That's too close in the family. I wonder why children's rights are not at the forefront of laws when manipulating nature to achieve our own needs? I could never donate an egg because I'm not the kind of person who could ever stop worrying what kind of life my child would be having...so instead of paying to see if our partner is on Tinder, in the future we'd have to have genetic tests before we get involved to screen that we're not hooking up with siblings.
That's a really uneducated and naïve view of how donation works. My egg donor and I have a wonderful relationship and my daughter will know exactly how she came to be born when she's old enough. We chose a known donor and my donor herself would not have donated if we didn't agree to known donation. Our daughter will know her as a very special family friend/honorary aunt whose egg made it possible for her to be here. My husband and I have a great relationship with her and her husband. Also, when a woman grows a child in her womb, you're right - she's not the genetic mother - but her DNA does cross over the placenta and she is the biological mother. Look it up. Epigenetics. Fascinating.
If DNA crosses over the placenta, then couldn't the argument be used that a surrogate (using donor eggs/sperm) has a biological claim to the baby?
Yes, you probably could.
The good thing about surrogacy in Australia is it is not commercial. It's altruistic. Also, in Australia the child has a legal right to have access to their history if they've been adopted, or donor conceived or from surrogate. If a woman uses a surrogate using her own eggs, she's still genetically the child's mother, and if she uses a donor egg, I guess it's similar to adoption.
Either way, the child will be very wanted and very loved.