The celebrity tattoos you'll actually want to put on your body.

There’s not a barbed wire arm band, Celtic symbol or Arabic script for “peace” that actually reads “anal plug” among them.

Tattoos are the accessory du jour, like cigarettes in long holders in the 1930s, or gloves in the 1950s, or visible bum-crack from your low-slung jeans in the early 2000s.

Every Hollywood starlet worth her salt has visited one of the tattoo artists whose Instagram feeds boast millions of followers, to get herself inked.

The difference between the new generation of tattooed ladies from, say, 90s-era rebels like Drew Barrymore and Courtney Love is that their body art isn’t soon-to-be-regretted Wino Forever (disclaimer: I actually think Johnny Depp’s tattoo formerly in honour of Winona Ryder is some of his best work) type jobs. There are no Pamela Anderson upper-arm barbed wire or butterfly tramp stamps.

It’s not rebellious now; it’s fashion. As such, it’s delicate, artful, and very covetable.

Leading the way, as per usual, is Kate Moss, whose tiny swallows that swoop just over her butt cheeks were tattooed on her by the late Lucien Freud.

They’re worth a million bucks, allegedly. They will likely be displayed, cured and stretched, in a museum one day after her inevitable demise, which I like to imagine will occur on the catwalk, fag in hand, at a very advanced age.

Here are some of our favourite celebrity inkings.

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