The favourite child. It’s a gag that crops up in almost every family – in fact, two days ago, my mother opened my birthday card with the following line:
To my favourite daughter…
I’m her only daughter.
It may be a cultural joke but a long-term study by sociologist Katherine Conger suggests there really is a favourite child and news flash, it might not be you.
The study, conducted in America, followed 384 families where a pair of siblings were born within four years of each other.
Results revealed that 74 percent of mothers and 70 per cent of fathers reported preferential treatment towards one child, according to Quartz.
Top Comments
You might think being an only child doesn't come with these issues, but you can end up feeling guilty as a child when there is only one of you and you're closer to one parent than the other. You are also very aware that you are the only one who can fulfil a lot of your parents future dreams or expectations, like becoming grandparents, being there for the one who is widowed or caring for them in older age. It can be a huge pressure when those responsibilities solely fall on you.
There needs to be more acknowledgement of personality in this topic. Some kids are easier to parent based on their personality, or whether they are more like one parent or another. Ease in parenting means less parent-child conflict and therefore, greater perceived warmth between both.
Children whose personalities don't mesh as well with their parent's may feel they are the less favoured child but personality clashes don't mean loved less. It is such an important topic to explore and clarify with children because so many generations of children have come away from their childhood feeling 'lesser.' Parents too have experienced immense guilt over it. With all the advances in psychological research, you'd think we'd have better explored and integrated this knowledge by now.